They call it “Incompetent Cervix” but I really dislike any part of me being called incompetent. Today at the doctor my cervix was funneling (open from the baby to the stitch). Last week it funneled under pressure (when they simulate a contraction) but today no pressure was needed. My doctor isn’t concerned because this is what a patient with a cerclage and incompetent cervix normally looks like. But I don’t like it.
I realized I was only looking at the negative and not seeing the positives. There are several good things to consider:
1. I’m 28.5 weeks along. Most babies born now survive.
2. I’m not in labor. My cervix isn’t dilated at all.
3. The funnel is narrow so there isn’t pressure on the stitch.
4. The distance from the stitch to the outside is 1.9 which is good. It hasn’t shortened.
5. My current state is considered normal for patients in my condition.
It’s a lot harder to keep the faith when I don’t have amazing medical proof. I’ve asked God for a full-term baby and I have believed He will answer. But I’ve had amazing reports from my doctors which have made it easy to believe God. I heard a Bible verse on the radio on my way home which was just what I needed:
God said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Cor 12:9
Yes my cervix is incompetent and weak, but God is showing His strength because of it. In Him I can always trust. His grace is enough for me.