Running On Empty

Jeff & I at the Baby Shower

This last week I have felt really drained and tired.  I figured I was tired from the baby shower, which is partly true.  But I realized I was missing some things from my routine.  Up to this point, the majority of my time on bed rest (when not visiting with friends), has been spent watching Beth Moore’s Bible study on Esther, reading a lot of Christian books, listening to sermons from various churches, etc.  But I finished the Esther study, I’ve been back at church so I haven’t been listening to sermons at other times, and I finished all the Christian books I wanted to read.

I spent last week writing thank you notes while watching episodes of Parenthood season 3 on Hulu’s free one-week trial and reading In A Sunburned Country for book club.  None of those things are bad.  Parenthood makes me laugh a lot and you can learn things from their families.  Even though I had continued to read my Bible every day, I didn’t have this overflowing, fill-my-mind with God’s Word.

There’s nothing that comforts like God’s Word.  Nothing.  I thought in this season of my life, if I didn’t soak my mind in the promises of God that I might become fearful and anxious.  But instead I just felt empty.

I set my alarm for 10:15am but woke up today at 8:30 really hungry (this is not abnormal). While eating breakfast I listened to Midday Connection, a program of Moody Bible Radio, on the Moody Radio App I have (highly recommend). I read the Bible, I listened to a new mix of songs I made in celebration of Easter, and I read a devotion from Walking With Lincoln (a Christian devotional book I bought for Jeff a few years ago when he mentioned he liked President Lincoln and all of a sudden the Family Christian Store had all these Lincoln-related books).

Now I feel full again. I feel inspired to write the Bible study I keep talking about and not doing anything with. I feel content, satisfied, ready for the day. Soaking yourself in God’s Word and Christian materials isn’t a fix-all for whatever problem is in your life.  You may not always feel great. But I think you’ll feel better than you would without Him.

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You” Isaiah 26:3. This verse was on my Bible-verse-a-day calendar for February 24, 2011, the day Caleb was born and immediately welcomed into heaven.  I kept that calendar at my office so I didn’t know that verse was on the calendar until several weeks later when I went back to work. God has amazing ways of speaking into our lives. If only we would listen.

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