Don’t Go Changing

Posted on by
Reply

Being on bed rest has had it’s advantages, like saving money on gas.  I’ve only driven about 3 miles a week for the last 10 weeks.  The poor Mazda doesn’t know what to do… it’s used to being on the road for 50 miles a day. The last couple weeks I’ve heard people complaining about how high the gas prices have risen. I didn’t think they were lying, but I just didn’t know for myself.  The last time I filled up my gas tank was January 16 at approximately $3.60 per gallon.  Until a few days ago when my gas light finally went on. Now I believe the rumors of high gas prices!

People seem to be naturally opposed to change, like gas prices rising.  Every time Facebook changes, everyone’s status update is how much they hate the change.  We complain about the weather, waiting for the next season to come, but when it does come we wish it were warmer, or colder, or different.

Yet at the same time as we oppose change, we’re also a people desiring change. We want bigger houses, nicer cars, better jobs.  We live in this in-between, comfortable with some things and discontent with others.

I’m looking for a new car these days. With the baby coming we figured I needed a bigger family-friendly car.  It’s hard to narrow things down when I can only read reviews and look at pictures online. But sometimes I stop and think, what is really necessary. A lot of people get by with not a lot. Yet I can’t imagine living without a multi-disc cd changer and sunroof.

I have no conclusion, no solution, no lesson for you to walk away with.  But I hope you’ll stop and think about what you have – no matter how much or how little – and be thankful. And be content.

Christmas Gifts

Posted on by
Reply

A couple weeks ago I had trouble sleeping at night. After playing games on my phone, blogging, reading and writing emails, I finally decided to pray. I thought maybe there’s something God is trying to tell me tonight and I need to listen. He brought to my mind Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.” Which reminded me of my Christmas gift to Jesus.

Every year on Christmas my family gives gifts to Jesus. It is His birthday after all. Usually they sound like New Year’s resolutions with a faith twist, like read the Bible everyday, memorize Scripture, help the poor, use the gifts God has given me, etc. The last few years we haven’t all been together on Christmas so we haven’t passed the “gift box” around where we read what we gave Jesus last year and say what our gift is this year. I’ve still thought about what I would give Him, but without the accountability of the family tradition, I haven’t been very intentional.

A few years ago my “gift” – or at least theme for the year – was to be still. I was working more than 40 hours a week, commuting 10-12 hours each week, newly married, volunteering with a youth ministry, starting a Bible study, etc. All good things, but it meant for a busy life. I knew God wanted me to learn to be still and know that He is God. Unfortunately I don’t think I followed through very well, because I’m still learning.

Even that sleepless night when I tried to be still and listen to God, my mind kept wandering, mainly to how I would write about this on the blog. I thought I’d share with you some insight on the verse:

Be STILL and know that I am God
When was the last time you were still, quiet, and everyone around you was also? It’s a challenge in our technology-driven, keep up with the Joneses, chauffeur your kids to every sport & music lesson world. While I do think it’s important once in a while to be still & silent before God, I think we also need to learn to be still in the loudness that surrounds us. Even in the busyness, we need to be content, calm, at peace, and able to hear God’s voice leading us. We need to quiet our hearts, minds, souls, and strength in order to be still before the Lord.

Be still and KNOW that I am God
Sometimes the word “know” is used in the Bible to refer to a husband knowing his wife, as in Genesis 4:1, Adam knew his wife and she conceived and bore a son. I don’t know if the original Hebrew word for know in Psalm 46:10 is the same as the intimate know in Genesis 4:1 (if you can look that up, let me know). However, it caused me to think about how well I know God in comparison to how well I know my husband.

Jeff and I talk everyday, we make decisions together, we have inside jokes that no one else would think are funny, we have lots of memories. Even if you didn’t know anything about us and you came to our house, it wouldn’t take you long to figure out Jeff and I are married and have traveled to a lot of cool places. You would know because there are pictures everywhere documenting our relationship. Can the same be said for my relationship with God, or your relationship with God? Maybe you can’t scrapbook pictures of you and the Lord, but do you know Him like you know the other loved ones in your life?

Be still and know that I AM GOD
I am not God. I like to be in control. I like to make decisions. I often think my plans are better than God’s. But I am not God. Neither are you. God is in control. God has better plans than I can imagine. My role is to follow Him. But I know every time I worry or fear, every time I choose my selfish desires first, every time I doubt – in any situation – I am trying to be God. How have you tried to be God? Controlling your children, worrying about your job, fearing you’ll be single your whole life? You don’t need to think those things. You need to be still and know that God is God.

Dear Lord, help us be still and quiet before You. Help us to be still even in the loudness of our busy worlds. Help us to know You more. May it be the desire of our hearts to be in close relationship with You, talking with You and letting You lead our lives. Help us to trust You above all else. To know that You are in control, You are trustworthy and faithful, and we can always depend on You. Lord help us to be still and know that You are God. In Jesus name we pray, amen.

20120401-120636.jpg

Where Do You Run

Posted on by
1

When I first started training for Kilimanjaro, I thought Jeff and I would spend some quality time running together. Although I’m athletic, I’m not a runner, and Jeff had already been running regularly. A few times we’d run together and inevitably Jeff would get in front of me, then run backwards so he could see me, and shout “run through the pain!” which sounded about as encouraging as you’d expect from a Marines drill sergeant. Needless to say, for the sake of our marriage, I ran separately from Jeff.

In some ways, don’t tell him I said this, Jeff was right. I needed to run through the pain. I had knee problems and my lungs felt like they had collapsed, but I had to learn to keep pushing forward despite the pain. On Kilimanjaro if I had stopped when I was I pain, I wouldn’t have made it to the top. I wouldn’t have even completed day one. But when our picture was taken at the summit and we had completed the journey, I had a great sense of accomplishment. We reached our goal!

The last couple weeks I’ve had a lot of pain in my hips and my right shoulder. You wouldn’t think you could get injured on bed rest, but apparently it’s possible. Being pregnant though, my solutions are limited. I can’t just run to the doctor or to medicine. All I can take is Tylenol but I really need an anti-inflammatory medicine.

I’m not telling you these things so you think I’m tough, or so you’ll feel bad for me. I just wonder, where do you run when you have “pain”? If the pain is physical, or sickness, do you run to the doctor or the medicine cabinet? Do you run to friends complaining about your situation and seeking compassion? Do you run to alcohol or drugs to numb your brokenness?

Right now I’m glad I can’t run to medicine for relief. It forces me to run to the Great Physician, the only One who is able to heal me completely, or give me the strength to endure. As Paul says in the Bible: “Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

20120331-105506.jpg

Taste And See

Posted on by
1

For those of you who regularly read my blog, I’m sorry it has been so long since I’ve written. Last Saturday my sisters and sister-in-law threw a baby shower for me. It was wonderful to visit with family and friends and everyone was so generous in the gifts they bought for the baby. Considering I have only seen one or two people at a time in 9 weeks, and I still had to be confined to the couch, the shower was a little overwhelming, but in a good way. However it has taken me several days of extra sleeping to recover 🙂

A friend texted me recently saying she had been reading Psalm 34. I was reminded as I read it how great our God is. How much He loves us that He answers when we call and He delivers us from all fear. I especially like how it ends. Read it with me:

I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the LORD; let the humble hear and be glad. Oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together!

I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them.

Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack! The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

Come, O children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD. What man is there who desires life and loves many days, that he may see good? Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous and his ears toward their cry. The face of the LORD is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth. When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken. Affliction will slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be condemned. The LORD redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.

The last verse is worth repeating: The LORD redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned. Call upon the Lord in times of need and times of plenty. You won’t ever regret it.

20120330-115328.jpg

The Next Thing

Posted on by
1

One of my baby information books said I need to sign the baby up for preschool now. Are you serious? He’s still in the womb! Is there really a three year waiting list for preschool? Which got me thinking about school. What is 3 year old preschool anyway? It exists just to prepare you for 4 year old preschool, which exists to prepare you for kindergarten. In fact every level of school is to prepare you for the next level.

I remember several teachers saying I had to learn this because I “would need it next year.” This was true especially in junior high. Everyday of 8th grade I was late. I would walk into the office to get a pass to class and Mrs. Quinn (mother of our current governor) would write me a pass and say “Debbie, you can’t do this next year in high school.” Being late wasn’t completely my fault since my mom drove me to school and she had to wake my little brother up and bring him with, but that’s beside the point.

Obviously school is very important. But I think the idea of preparing us for the next thing can create a challenging mindset. For the majority of us, it is decided that after junior high we go to high school, and after high school we go to college, and after college we enter the real world. Although that was how it was for me a decade ago, but now college probably just prepares you for a masters degree. Either way, you think after 20+ years of “preparation” you would enter the real world in a management position, not an entry-level, anyone-can-do-this-job position.

School ingrains in our minds an expectation of advancing to the next thing, not to mention getting regular progress reports via tests, homework, and report cards, which don’t exist in the real world, leaving most people little feedback on the quality of their work.

What’s wrong with expecting the next thing, you ask. I’m not sure it’s biblical to expect advancement. I do know that we are supposed to be content in all circumstances. It’s hard to be content when you are waiting for a promotion or pay increase. God puts people in a variety of jobs and we should learn to be grateful and content with what we have, not comparing ourselves to others, but embracing where God has placed us today.

After college I worked in a start-up ministry for a year while volunteering with a youth ministry. I felt like God was calling me to be more involved with the youth ministry, so I quit the job that paid me, volunteered 20+ hours a week with youth and worked part-time at a coffee shop. I was living in Wisconsin where things are cheaper, but there were still many times I needed God to provide financially and He did. Meanwhile I’d come home to Chicago for my friends’ bridal showers where it seemed like everyone was in law school or med school or had some lucrative amazing job. Then they’d ask what I’m doing… But I wasn’t ashamed. I knew I was right where God wanted me. And the coffee shop was my favorite job I’ve ever had.

Instead of looking for the next thing, learn to be content. Look to Jesus as our example who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to His own advantage. Rather, He made Himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted Him to the highest place and gave Him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:6-11

When was the last time you made yourself nothing and took on the role of a servant? Jesus wasn’t promoted to earth, He was demoted. He was sent to earth as a man, a servant. It wasn’t until after He accomplished God’s purpose that God exalted (promoted) Jesus and gave Him the name above all others.

People say to accept any job you can get these days because of the economy. But regardless of the economy, I’m saying take a good look at your life: are you living in contentment? Have you humbled yourself? Are you willing to be a servant? Are you willing to do whatever God has purposed for you?

20120324-060915.jpg

We Are Waiting

Posted on by
1

I’m struggling a bit to fall asleep tonight but it got me thinking that I haven’t written a song in awhile. I haven’t been able to play my guitar so that could be part of it. But also because I created this blog and write my thoughts here, I think that has taken away my need to write songs to process what is happening in my life. The baby is kicking tonight and it’s hard to believe he will be here in 6-9 weeks! Here’s a little song I wrote thinking about him:

We Are Waiting
Tonight I dream about the boy you’ll be
Running, jumping, full of energy
Your little laugh and silly ways
Sweet smile and carefree play
We are waiting
We are waiting

Waiting to hold you in our arms
Waiting to cradle you in our love
Waiting to be with you

God has knit you together in my womb
Formed your body and made you anew
He has numbered your days and He’ll count your hairs
We will show you His love and His care
We are waiting
We are waiting

Waiting to hold you in our arms
Waiting to cradle you in our love
Waiting to be with you
Waiting for our dreams to come true
Waiting to see God’s promise fulfilled
Waiting to show you to the world
Our miracle from God

20120324-002748.jpg

What I’ve Done on Bed Rest

Posted on by
Reply

A few people have asked lately what I’ve been reading while on bed rest, so I’ve compiled a list with some descriptions.  If you’re looking for something to read or for some good sermons to listen to, check out my list.  You can also click “What I’ve Done On Bed Rest” on the top of this blog.  I’ll update it as I read more.  If you have recommendations for me, let me know.

A Lake With No Storms

Posted on by
Reply

“Peace doesn’t come by finding a lake with no storms, but by having Jesus in your boat and trusting Him” Dr. Tim Sisk said in a sermon he titled Keep Calm. It’s part of a series he called Flourish, about how Jesus came to give us abundant life. Part of living an abundant life is trusting Him.

Have you ever been in a boat when there was a storm? Or have you been in a place you knew God wanted you to be, but all of a sudden there were great difficulties and you wonder why God brought you here? That’s what happened to the disciples:

“On that day, when evening had come, Jesus said to them, ‘Let us go across to the other side.’ And leaving the crowd, they took Him with them in the boat, just as He was. And other boats were with Him. And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But Jesus was in the stern, asleep on the cushion.”

Jesus told them to get in the boat and go across the lake, but now when there is a storm, Jesus is sleeping? The disciples were experienced fisherman. They knew how to handle boats and I’m sure they had been in many storms in their lives. But this storm was enough to really scare them.

“And they woke Jesus and said to Him, ‘Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?’”

Have you ever asked that same question, wondering if God really cares about you and the situation you are in?

“And Jesus awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, ‘Peace! Be still!’ And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, ‘Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?’ And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, ‘Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey Him?'” Mark 4:35-40

There are a lot of lessons to learn from this passage: Jesus does care, We should have faith and not doubt, Jesus has the power to calm our “storms.” But what strikes me most right now, is that even though the disciples lacked faith and questioned Jesus’s care for them, the disciples still went to Jesus for help. When they were in trouble they called out to God. That is certainly an example we should follow. Peace isn’t about not having storms, but calling out to Jesus when the storms come.

“Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know” Jeremiah 33:3

20120321-112121.jpg

Eyes On The Prize

Posted on by
Reply

Eight and a half weeks of bed rest complete. Six and a half weeks remain. At the doctor last Thursday I received more good news: my cervix is totally closed again, I can sit up for four hours a day, and I can go to church every week! Just to know I have the option to sit up feels like a new freedom.

Sunday marked 30 weeks in this pregnancy, which means I only have about 10 more weeks until I’m holding the baby in my arms. I’ve been so focused on getting through each day that I’ve hardly thought about the end of this journey. It had seemed so far away, but now feels like its right around the corner. I think as the end of this race draws near it is even harder to be disciplined.

Over the weekend Jeff ran the Go Ruck Challenge. As a team, the 28 people who signed up loaded their backpacks with 40 pounds of bricks and water, and set off at 1am to do whatever their leader told them. Twelve hours and 20 miles later they completed their journey. Push ups, sit ups, carrying each other, in and out of Lake Michigan, up and down hills, crawling, crab walking, and more. They were exhausted and sore, but they finished the race and they did it together.

The journey of faith is hard to complete on your own. It’s so much better to have other believers surrounding you, encouraging you, facing challenges with you. I went to church Sunday for the first time in 9 weeks. I had tears in my eyes just walking in. Even though we didn’t see people we know, it was encouraging to know all the people around us are also walking in faith following Christ.

I think church is such a special place to come together with other believers and worship the Lord. We can lean on each other to finish the race.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2

20120321-103130.jpg

1,000 Sleepless Nights

Posted on by
2

What if Your blessings come through rain drops,
What if Your healing comes through tears,
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near,
What if my greatest disappointment
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst
This world can’t satisfy
What if trials in this life are Your mercies in disguise

This is the chorus to Laura Story’s song Blessings. I first heard it about a year ago after having Caleb. It became like a theme song for me, expressing what I believed but wasn’t able to put into words.

Whenever I can’t sleep I think of that line: what if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near. Tonight is one of my sleepless nights. Not because I’m worried or anxious. I just seem to be wide awake. I ate a small chocolate chip cookie bar at 10:30 but that doesn’t seem like the culprit.

Many of my sleepless nights have been filled with anxieties or sadness. After having Caleb I often emailed friends in the middle of the night with my thoughts and emotions. Writing usually helped me recognize my feelings and release them to God.

I hate not sleeping. But if it takes 1,000 sleepless nights to understand the nearness of God, then sign me up. Maybe insomnia is the Lord’s way of subtly getting our attention and hoping we call out to Him. Maybe in the stillness and silence of the night our hearts and minds can hear what God is trying to tell us. It might not be an intricate earth-shattering message, but just a time to feel the loving arms of our Savior wrapped around us as He sings over us, reminding us that He is always near.

“I will never leave you or forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

“For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty Savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With His love, He will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17

20120319-015624.jpg