Category Archives: Family

Stories of our family

How Pregnancies Wrecked My Body

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I put the boys down for a nap, opened the mail, and excitedly found my Fitbit had arrived! I promptly put it on my wrist, grabbed the little instruction booklet, and laid on the couch. 

In my defense, this was the treasured “nap time” when one child sleeps and the other stays in his room for at least 3 minutes before I have to entertain/threaten/bribe him to give me 10 more minutes of alone time. Second, we spent the morning running around a kid play place where I crawled through tunnels, down slides, pushed Parker in a tractor, and all sorts of activity since the 572 friends we asked to join us couldn’t come, and I promised a fun day for Jack (he earned it with a rewards system I implemented… Maybe another post).

So I laid on the couch, Fitbit on my wrist, reading the manual. Then Fitbit was like “A little less conversation, a little more action please.” Turns out the thing only counts steps when you take the steps. I know, crazy.

I bought the Fitbit with birthday gift money, hoping it would give me some motivation to get back in shape. Over the last six years my body has been through a lot. 

  • 4 pregnancies: 20 weeks, 41 weeks, 6 weeks, and 38 weeks. That’s a total of 105 weeks – more than 2 years!
  • Delivered 3 babies, only got to bring 2 home.
  • Gained 15 pounds, lost 15 pounds. Gained 50, lost 50. Gained 40, lost 20.
  • 16 weeks on bed rest, flat on my back.
  • 2 surgeries to keep babies inside me
  • 9 months of inactivity: no running, no chasing a toddler around, no lifting anything heavier than a gallon of milk.
  • Not to mention all the emotions that accompany these challenging pregnancies.

Six years ago I climbed Mount Kilimanjaro. These days my body hurts from normal mom life: carrying a baby and chasing an energetic 4 year old. Instead of running laps on a track, I’m often driving laps in my car where the boys seem to most enjoy sleeping.
After bed rest and delivering Jack, it took my body about 15 months before I felt normal again. It’s been 11 months since Parker was born, but I feel stuck. Tired after long, but good days at home with the boys, I don’t want to work out at night. But I look at the energy of my husband and children and think I want to be there. I want to do that. And I don’t want to struggle through it.

Instead of finding temporary comfort in an evening catching up on Netflix, I’m hoping Fitbit can help me pursue long-term comfort as I get my body back. I know the road might be long, but I like the clothes in my closet and I want them to fit again. And I want to climb some mountains.

Why I Announce Pregnancies Early

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If you missed my Facebook announcement, I’m pregnant! For a few weeks we’ve been sharing the news with family and friends as we see them. And some of them have been sharing it with others. And that is great because this little life deserves to be celebrated!

I’m only 9.5 weeks, but feeling nauseous frequently, which isn’t fun but is a good pregnancy sign. Some people wait until 12 weeks when the first trimester is over to announce their pregnancy. They wait until they’re out of the “danger zone” of when miscarriage is most possible. But why? To avoid some kind of embarrassment of announcing, miscarrying, and then having to explain it? While I don’t think that would be embarrassing because miscarriage isn’t anyone’s fault and usually has no reason. But it isn’t easy to explain the situation. It’s uncomfortable if you run into a friend at the store who heard the first announcement, but not about the miscarriage, and starts to ask about the pregnancy.

But I can’t think like that. I choose to cling to hope and trust God’s plan with this life. I’ve missed the chance to celebrate two precious lives while they were still with me. When I was first pregnant with Caleb we were going to wait until I went to the doctor at 10 weeks. But just before that happened I ended up in the hospital, learning I was almost 20 weeks pregnant, and that I would deliver the baby that day but he wouldn’t survive. That was the tearful phone call our families received. Even though we are thankful for Caleb’s life and celebrate him now, we didn’t have the chance to celebrate him while he was alive.

We announced being pregnant with Jack around 8 weeks at a family party. We certainly benefitted from having so many people love, support, and pray for us and Jack throughout that pregnancy. But most of all we loved celebrating that little life growing inside me. We loved being excited with everyone about what would come. We cherished every day we had with him safely in my womb.

When I had a miscarriage at Christmas we were about to make the announcement when I started bleeding. While we hoped things would be ok, we decided to wait until we knew before sharing the news. Unfortunately we lost that baby at just 6 weeks and missed another chance to celebrate that life while he was with us.

So, fourth time around now, almost as soon as we knew I was pregnant we told our families. We celebrated. We prayed. We already love this little one. We are thanking God for another precious miracle and trusting Him to keep this baby safe and healthy inside me until His perfect timing to deliver.

“The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the Name of the Lord.” Job 1:21

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Joy and Sorrow

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On Christmas Day Jack was supposed to walk into our parents’ houses for gift opening and share a special announcement on his tshirt: Big Brother. But he never got the chance. A few days earlier I started having some problems. Doctor appointment, blood work, and several days of waiting, revealed that I was having a miscarriage. In the days of waiting, however, I waited in silence. Only Jeff and I knew that I was pregnant. I was still hoping that everything would be ok and that we could joyfully, happily announce this new baby.

Through Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, while everyone around me celebrated the birth of a Baby King, I wondered if the baby, who was only 6 weeks in the womb, was still alive. The season of advent is all about anticipation of a Savior, when I was waiting for results and answers. Would Christmas Day, a day of great celebration, turn into a day of mourning for me? Does it have to be one or the other?

Because of the birth of a Baby in Bethlehem – Jesus, the One who saves, because He is Immanuel, God with us, I can have comfort even in sorrow. I can find joy even when mourning because the God who is with me is the Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6).

Even though I was only 6 weeks pregnant, I had hopes and dreams for this new baby. I was excited for Jack to have a sibling, for us to have a new little baby to hold and love. Things could go on without anyone knowing about this 6 week old life that was inside me, but I think it’s important to share. Every life has value and should be celebrated. At least 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, but it’s often not talked about. Then if it happens to you, you might feel alone or ashamed, as if it’s your fault. But it’s not your fault. Usually there aren’t answers as to why miscarriages happen.

I share my story with you to celebrate the baby. I’ve thanked God for this baby and for the blessing of being pregnant three times – a blessing many women don’t get. It’s a strange thing to have more children in heaven than in my arms (read about Caleb here), but it makes me look forward to heaven even more.

No matter what challenging, sorrowful, or questioning time you are facing, it doesn’t have to be separated from hope, joy, and peace. The Baby in the manger came to save you, to be with you, to bring you peace even in chaos, joy even in sorrow, and hope even when you despair.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 1 Corinthians 1:3-4

Halloween: Love It. Hate It.

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IMG_4966Love: creative, home-made costumes.
Hate: scary, gory or store-bought costumes.

Love: kids coming to my door, conversations I get to have, giving out their favorite candy, making them smile for a moment.
Hate: it’s impossible to estimate how much candy to buy. Sometimes we run out and I give the last kids granola bars and mints leftover from my baby shower. Other times (like this year) we have a bucket of candy left.

Love: creative, fall-themed decorating.
Hate: scary, evil decorations, fake gravestones, things I have to try to explain when Jack asks about it.

PIMG_4969eople, please at least remove the fake gravestones from your decorations. Why promote so much death? I have a real gravestone with my son’s name on it. It’s not something you want.

Satan came to kill, steal, and destroy – things which sound a lot like Halloween costumes and decorations that are popular. But Jesus came to bring life. Life to the full. (John 10:10)

In everything we do, let’s bring life. Let’s show the world what life with Jesus looks like.

Fashion Faux Pas: Busted!

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Jeff and DebbieEmail From My Cousin: Hope you had fun at your friend’s wedding–you looked great!  I have to ask, having just looked at so many of our old photos, is that black and white dress the same one you wore to Susan’s wedding? If so, Jen Hatmaker would be so proud of you for making good use of it over the years!! 🙂 It just looked familiar, and I wondered if you’d rediscovered it during your “clothes purge”!  Way to go, if so!

Reply from Me: LOL! Yes that zebra print dress was bought for Susan’s wedding 14 years ago! I did rediscover it in the purge and it fit so I texted Cathy a picture of me in it and asked if it was still “in.” The fashionista said yes so I wore it. I bought that little sweater thing at Ann Taylor the other day for $30 which conveniently hid my horrendous farmers tan… I need to buy some sleeveless tops. My mom was like “buy a new dress!!” And I was like no, it’s fine, why buy something to only wear it once again. Then she showed up to babysit and was wowed by the dress. She couldn’t believe it was 14 years old. Haha. Thanks for noticing and sharing this 7 moment 🙂

Response From Cousin: I knew it!!!!!  That’s hilarious… the little sweater looked perfect with it, and I think it’s fantastic that not only did you “recycle” the dress, but that you fit into something from 14 years ago!!  You’ve got to add that story to your next “7”-related blog post.

Done. Following the themes of 7 from previous blog posts (here, here, here and here), not buying a new dress saved money which can be re-purposed to help others in need and it didn’t add any more waste to the earth. Do you have fashionable clothes you’ve “recycled” through the years? Instead of fashion faux pas, I call it fashion smart.

Here I am 14 years ago with some cousins.

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When You Get an Envelope from the Red Light Enforcement Police

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Jeff, Jack and I went up to Wisconsin over the weekend to visit family. The first chance he got, Jack climbed on to his three year old cousin’s new battery operated tractor. Jack sat on it happily moving the steering wheel but going no where. He didn’t Peg_Perego_Turf_Tractor_a1fc2645ca1e0b36e981_1know it moved. Then his cousin comes in, “Hey Jack! To make the tractor go you have to push the pedal with your foot.”

Such clear instruction. Jack lifted his legs up, located the pedal, and pushed his foot on it. Vroom vroom!

On the drive home I was thinking about how boring my car looks. Jeff’s car has lots of character. It stands out. It’s easy to spot on the road. My car blends in to the hundreds, or thousands, of other SUVs that are so similar. I was thinking about adding a window decal but Jeff has a thing against car decorations.

Me: Are you against stickers on your car, or my car too?

Jeff: What do you want to do?

Me: Add a Valpo decal in the window or Young Life.

Jeff: No you can’t do that. You could get running boards, or hella lights, or a bumper bar on the front of your car like police cars have.

Me: What? Those sound a lot more expensive than the $3.50 sticker I want.7995700002_large

What are “hella lights” you ask? Yes, me too. In fact I wondered if that was the technical term or what they are referred to in rap songs. It’s actually the brand name. See the picture for an example of how cool my SUV could look.

Me: What would I even use hella lights for?

Jeff: If you’re out at night and find yourself in the middle of a pick up game of basketball, you could flip on your lights to light up the court so the game can go on.

Me: That is often a situation I find myself in.

Then Jeff fell asleep. Don’t worry boys, I’ll get you home safely.

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In other car-related news, yesterday an envelope came in the mail from the Police Department’s Red Light Enforcement Office. It was addressed to me. Yikes. I opened it to find… pictures of Jeff’s car driving through the red light!! Woohoo it’s not me!! Haha… you see Jeff and I bought new cars at the same time but the way we did it, we basically switched license plates. So that’s why it was addressed to me.

I put the ticket back in the envelope in the stack of mail and left it for Jeff to see.

Jeff: Uh oh, someone got a ticket!

(opens envelope)

Jeff: Oh no… it’s me!

Me: Muahahaha!

Perhaps the Red Light Cameras have taken pity on my boring-looking SUV and they only pay attention to fancy cars like Jeff’s.

Watch You Sleeping

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When I was registering for baby things I was on bed rest which meant I had time to do research on things such as baby monitors. A generous friend bought us our fancy video monitor and we’ve enjoyed watching Jack sleep. In fact I didn’t realize how dependent I had become until it broke.

Jack was playing with the parent unit which he thinks looks like a phone. And even though he was very gentle with it, somehow the port for the charger broke and the battery has been useless for a few months = no more monitor.

Samsung said they’d fix it for $45 but I wasn’t sure I wanted to spend that on a monitor that wasn’t my favorite after using it for 21 months. While I made up my mind on what to do, I borrowed my parents’ baby monitor leftover from my brother who is now 25 years old. Obviously it doesn’t have video abilities, but at least with the audio I could tell if Jack was awake (as if the thumping on the walls didn’t clue me in).

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Apparently two consecutive days of use was all this elderly monitor could take and just like that we were without a monitor again. [However there seemed to be a nostalgic factor to this antique, so instead of throwing it out I gave it back to my parents. They plugged it in and it works again….??]

I told Jack the monitor is broken so when he wakes up he has to yell “Mama!!” Some days he does, other days he just kicks the wall until I come upstairs. Really the monitor is necessary for the beginning of nap time. Is he sleeping? Is he pooping?

Speaking of which, monitors should really have a smell sensor. They are so high-tech these days with wi-fi and video recording and night vision, you’d think someone would have invented a smell sensor so you know when the baby poops. Because inevitably pooping interferes with naps.

Maybe I’ll take my Smell Sensor Baby Monitor* to Shark Tank for a deal. (*Patent pending)

[Anyway…. I had this post written then added a picture and it deleted half the post… rewriting…]

We bought a new monitor that I scored for a great price on Amazon. Turns out it was a great price because it’s not-so-great a monitor. Jeff remarked the video quality wasn’t very good. I thought it was fine. “The crib slats aren’t supposed to look wavy.” Then we mounted it – two more holes in the wall – Jeff hates holes in the wall – and the night vision doesn’t work at all. So we can see nothing.

Now I’m doing monitor research again, except I have less time than when I was on bed rest and they all seem so expensive. Do I really have to pay another $200 for a video monitor? Don’t we have some kind of old camera laying around that we can hook up to something … ?

Well, this post has been thrilling. I promise to write more interesting things in the future. For now I’ll start engineering my Smell Sensor Baby Monitor* and I’ll take any recommendations you have for a functional video monitor. Since you made it to the end of this post, I will reward you with some pictures.

Role reversal: Jack is blogging while I nap.

Role reversal: Jack is blogging while I nap.

Jack won't sit next to me on the couch anymore. He insists on sitting on his side. #bigboy

Jack won’t sit next to me on the couch anymore. He insists on sitting on his side. #bigboy

Jebbie – Part 2

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If you landed here somehow without reading Part 1, please go back and read Part 1.

Eight years. Eight years of my commitment-phobic indecision.

Debbie_Jeff2After Breakup #1, I realized I didn’t really know much about Jeff so I spent the next few months talking to him – or to be more precise, AOL Instant Messaging. In November I casually announced to my roommate “I think I love Jeff Chun.” Next thing I know my roommate and I were driving to University of Illinois on a Saturday morning to have lunch with Jeff so I could ask him out. After a few hours of working up the nerve, I finally confessed I liked him, he agreed he still liked me, and we were back together.
Then Kristin (roommate) and I got back in the car and drove back to Valpo. About 10 minutes into our drive I said, “I think I made a mistake.” Kristin spent too many hours with Jeff’s not-so-fun roommate waiting for me to talk to Jeff to let me give up this early. “Date him through Christmas break and if you’re still not sure, then breakup with him.” Ok I can do that.

Christmas break came and went and Jeff and I were Ross and Rachel Breakstill together. We dated for two years through college with a few breakups or on-a-breaks. According to Jeff, no more than five and no less than three… I have no recollection of these. Who can blame me? This was the time of Ross and Rachel’s on-a-break in Friends.

After two years of dating in college, I broke up with Jeff one final time for good forever, never to date again (or so I thought). We had one last year of college before the real world. Jeff and I kept in touch a little and would see each other when we were home on weekends because he went to the same church as my family. Jeff may or may not have used this time to become best friends with my brother (seven years younger than us) in order to stay in my life. I moved to Wisconsin after graduation, while Jeff stayed in Chicagoland. [Editors note: Jeff Chun and Jeff my brother (yes it’s confusing) really were and still are good friends.]

Jeff never dated anyone else, but I did date a few guys. Sometimes it was hard to continue being friends with Jeff (current boyfriends aren’t usually happy about ex-boyfriends). One DSCN0694day I told Jeff I couldn’t be friends with him anymore. Little did I know that a few days earlier, Jeff felt like God told him that he should always care about me. Wow!

Finally a day came – like a lightbulb moment – when I casually announced to my roommates “If I’m going to marry anyone, it’s going to be Jeff Chun.” “Yay! I’ve been rooting for him all along!!” they rejoiced. I didn’t even know what they meant “rooting” for him because he had never been an option that they had known. But as soon as those words left my mouth I began to see the man Jeff had become in the last three years of not dating each other. He really was the one!

I promptly drove back home that weekend to talk to Jeff. Conveniently he was at my parents’ house hanging out with my brother. The three of us played yard games, Jeff and I flirting a little. I wondered if he could possibly like me again after all the times I broke his heart. I don’t remember much about our conversation except I was ready to get married and Jeff was going to make me wait.

At my coffee shop: Copper Rock!

At my coffee shop: Copper Rock!

We dated long distance until I realized Jeff wasn’t going to leave his real grown-up job and move to Wisconsin where I worked part-time at a coffee shop and hung out with high schoolers. I sent three resumes, got an interview and got hired. It was a whirlwind. Clearly God was directing this move. Next thing I knew I was moving back home, literally home, with my parents and my brother who was still in high school. About 10 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days later Jeff finally proposed (but who was counting?) and another eight months and we were married.

God had his hand on us the entire time. Of course I could share more stories from those years, but I think this overview is long enough. Thanks for reading friends!

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Jeff + Debbie = Jebbie

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Since we just celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary, I thought I’d share our story. Evenme hovering in the doorway though most of you reading this are family and probably already know. Just in case there’s a visitor …

Jeff and I went to high school together but we weren’t quite “high school sweethearts.” In fact the only reason we really met was because I went to prom with Jeff’s best friend. After we graduated, our groups of friends merged and I began to get to know Jeff.

He was wild. Not like party-animal-wild. More like too much energy to keep inside. He was known for being like a ninja and upheld that reputation proudly.

Since there's no picture from that pool party, this will have to suffice ;)

Since there’s no picture from that pool party, this will have to suffice 😉

It wasn’t until a year later that I really noticed Jeff. I walked into a friend’s pool party, did a double take at the guy in the pool, and asked “Who’s that?” My friend responded “that’s Jeff Chun” (like duh can’t you tell?) Jeff had a new trendy haircut (no more bowl cut parted down the middle) and traded his glasses for contacts. Hello Jeff!

Ironically, it was that same party when Jeff first noticed me. I was wearing a red bikini. Needless to say, our relationship was built on important factors.

 

My goal for that summer of 2000 was to get Jeff to like me. We started officially dating just a week before we went back to college – different colleges, 3 hours away from each other. After dating Jeff for about two weeks (accomplishing my summer goal), I went to visit him at U of I and then broke up with him.

Then Jeff declared his love for me.

Thus setting the tone for the next eight years of our off and on. Yep, eight years. That wasn’t a typo. But it seems this post is long enough for now… Now Read Part 2.

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