Author Archives: Debbie

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About Debbie

Jeff and I have been married for elevent years. We have had many adventures - Australia, New Zealand, Costa Rica, Thailand, and Tanzania, Africa where we climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro. Our most recent adventure is children. This has been a journey of trusting God through challenging times and not letting go of hope. We have been pregnant four times: one premature birth and infant loss (read about Caleb's story), Jack which required 4 months of bedrest, one early miscarriage, and Parker which was another difficult pregnancy. I hope as you read this blog your faith will be strengthened and you will understand that no matter what is happening in our lives, God is good, faithful, and worthy of our trust.

Cardboard Creations

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With every diaper box I put in the recycling, I think to myself “there must be something cool I could make out of these boxes.” Usually the thought ends there. But thanks to Pinterest, I was able to get more ideas and pictures to follow. Let me welcome you to Chun Village.

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Here are the materials I used

Thanks to a Costco trip the day before, I picked up a few random boxes to use. Other than I used duct tape, scissors, and a leftover roll of blue tablecloth from Jack’s 1st birthday.

First, a mailbox:

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Second, a Gas Station: I found an empty spray bottle and random unused hose part around the house. The sign is actually hand drawn with crayons and markers. I know it looks so real you probably thought I printed it from the internet, which I would have done if my printer was working, but since it’s not, Jack gets some real artwork.

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A couple of boxes and duct tape, a long afternoon nap from Jack, and we have some new toys to play with. Bring your toy cars over for a fill up and your toy letters to the post office!

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Here’s a good example of Jack’s poof of hair sticking up before his Haircut by Daddy.

Winter Camping

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Indoor winter camping, that is. We’ve had many too-cold-to-leave-the-house days because of this Polar Vortex hitting the midwest. Jack was still entertained by his toys, but I was getting a little bored. What better time to set up our new tent in the basement? Here are some tips to follow:

Check the dimensions of your tent and make sure it fits in the space you have.

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This new tent was given to us by some great friends who borrowed our old tent for a youth group retreat and our tent got damaged. However our old tent was from high school, a friend of ours had bought it and didn’t want it so Jeff took it, and it was already falling apart. We told our friends not to even worry if anything happened to it. But they’re so nice they bought us a brand new tent! Unfortunately this tent has not been used because we haven’t dared camping with a baby yet. Having never even set this tent up, and since our basement is pretty big, it never occurred to me that the tent wouldn’t fit in our basement.

 

Make sure your toddler who agrees to help you in the beginning, is committed to completing the project.

Notice the poles are almost hitting the walls, and the toddler is just watching tv.
Notice the poles are almost hitting the walls, and the toddler is just watching tv.

Jack do you want to set up the tent? “Yeah!!!” His enthusiasm waned quickly. He seemed most excited about closing the door to the under-the-stairs-closet, trapping me inside while I retrieved the tent. This should have been a warning for me. Jack helped get the poles in, but when it came time to hook the poles into the four corners and pop up the middle, Jack was more interested in The Cat in The Hat.

Jack can you come hold this for Mommy? “No. No. No.” Ok then can you bring the chair over? We both looked at the blue computer chair which I planned on using to hold up the middle of the tent so I could get the pole ends hooked in. “Ok,” Jack said and he went to get the chair which was just a few feet away. He returns and hands me a little toy grill brush as if that was exactly what I asked for. I was laughing, and confused. Jack proceeded to go upstairs and find himself a snack. However I was too far into this project to abandon it now.

Fill the tent with fun.

IMG_3357Once the tent was up, we grabbed a chair, some books and toys and had a little fun. We especially had fun with Jack’s chair which kept flipping over. It made a cold day a little more fun!

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He’s Not Joining the Military

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Jack had his first hair cut by Daddy this weekend. Jeff has cut his own hair for years and he does a good job. It’s really just a buzz cut with different lengths on the top and the sides. Jeff’s hair grows so fast, he cuts it every two weeks.

 

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Jack’s very first haircut

Jack’s hair isn’t quite like his Daddy’s, although it still grows fast. Every month I spend $20 taking Jack to a fancy, over-priced, kid-specialized salon. He sits on a little motorcycle, watches the movie Cars, and cries for most of the 10 minutes it takes the hair stylist to cut his hair. For awhile Jeff and I were thinking Jeff should cut Jack’s hair. I made Jeff attend Jack’s last haircut so he could learn how the experts do it.

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After two days of Jack’s poof sticking straight up, Jeff said “Jack do you want Daddy to cut your hair?” Jack was very excited about this, even though he seems to hate getting his hair cut. We discussed briefly, then started to get ready. Jeff got the clippers, I started praying. Just kidding… kind of…

 

Jack did better than he has at any hair cut. Lots of hair fell to the ground. I had to remind Jeff that Jack isn’t joining the military, so he didn’t need to go so short.

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But in the end we saved money, had fun, Jack looks adorable, and I’m not even mad at Jeff! Success!IMG_3407

Great Job With The Laundry!

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IMG_2771I’m doing a Bible study called Gideon by Priscilla Shirer about how God uses our weaknesses and turns it to strength. (Find the story of Gideon in just three chapters of the Bible). This week we talked about finding God in the ordinary tasks of our days. Gideon was threshing wheat – an ordinary, not exciting job – when an angel of the Lord met him.

What are the ordinary tasks in your day?

  • Dishes
  • Laundry
  • Changing Diapers
  • Picking up toys
  • Driving kids to activities

We noted its not often our husbands come home and say “Great job with the laundry! You did really good at loading the dishwasher! No one drives the kids around town as good as you!” But even though these ordinary mundane tasks often go unnoticed, they are still important. “Today’s tasks – even the most mundane of them – are often preparation for tomorrow’s calling. They can carry clues to what He (God) is leading us to learn and accomplish as we faithfully serve Him” (Priscilla Shirer, Gideon study, p.47).

What is God trying to teach you through the ordinary of your life? I have dishes to do because I have food to feed my family. I have laundry because we have an abundance of clothes. I’m thankful for diapers to change and toys to pick up because that means I have a precious little boy to play with. God is showing me to be faithful in the little things, so I learn to be faithful in even greater matters (Luke 16:10). He is showing me to do all things as unto the Lord, giving thanks to Him (Colossians 3:17).

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And I’m learning that if I really want acknowledgement for the ordinary tasks I accomplish, I should text my mom.

The Cat in the Hat is Sleeping

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Just in case any of you are resolving to be more patient in 2014, I told you I’d blog again and then made you wait a week for the next post. Just helping you be patient. You’re welcome.

If we are Facebook friends you may have seen my post about Jack’s New Years Resolution. He didn’t know he made this resolution. I decided for him. There will be no more waking up in the middle of the night and watching Cat in the Hat episodes.

Sometime in November Jack’s perfect sleeping habits became disrupted. He started crying sometime between midnight and 2am. But since Jeff is so busy at work during holiday seasons, I thought I wouldn’t bother him to trade off turns getting Jack. I’ll just handle it myself.

For awhile we got away with bringing Jack into our room and he’d cuddle up next to me and sleep immediately. It sounds real cute, but as I balanced on the three inches of space, shivering from the cold of no blankets left for me, I’d move Jack back to his bed. This continued once every night for awhile.

Then one night Jack didn’t want to go to my bed. I was stumped. My mental functioning is significantly decreased in the middle of the night. So I grabbed my iPhone, opened the free PBS app, and we watched Cat in the Hat. The episodes are only 12 minutes and sometimes I’d be able to put Jack back to bed halfway through.

This happened with such frequency that I planned for it: pajama pants with pockets, phone charged. We alternated Curious George into the mix. Jack didn’t seem to get bored watching the same episodes over and over again, but I did. I even looked on YouTube for new ones.

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Now that the holidays are over I’ve realized how long this habit has been going and I’m determined to sleep through the night again. I’m also sick of falling asleep to and/or waking up to theme songs playing in my head.

But the last few nights have gone surprisingly well without The Cat. Jack still wakes up but I hold him and sing him a song, pray out loud that God helps him sleep (I think Jack likes that), then I tell him I’ll sing him one more song, but I usually sing between one and three more songs – accompanied by Jack’s whining/fake crying and “monkey hugs” where he holds me so tight I don’t need to hold him – then I lay him down and leave. I give him five minutes. He usually cries for four and falls asleep. Then I have a little victory party for myself. Woohoo!

I think eventually Jack will realize I’m far less entertaining at 2am than the Cat in the Hat so he’ll stop waking up. Right?

On another note, Jeff and I were disagreeing at dinner about how the Cat in the Hat Christmas song went so we played that episode just to figure it out. We proceeded to sing it the rest of the evening. “Welcome to my party… If you want to play some musical chairs, just have a seat with these polar bears…” You’ll have to look it up, or Jeff and I would be happy to sing it for you.

Here’s a picture from when Jack was only a month old! It was easy to sleep with him when he was this size.

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Goals For 2014

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I tried to think of a more creative title, but figured I might as well just write and not delay this post like so many others I’ve started writing in my head and never actually completed. Since everyone else is writing or talking about what they’re going to do better or different in 2014 I thought I’d join them. But instead of having real defined goals, I’m going to list broad categories in hopes that I accomplish some of this some days in the coming year.

1. Meal Plan. With all the blogs, recipes, ideas online this could be really easy… if I do it. I bookmark sites with “25 Freezer to Crock Pot meals” but the grocery shopping and cooking often doesn’t happen. Around 5pm each day dinner surprises me. What is it about husbands and children that they want to eat dinner every night?

2. Reorganize my Kitchen and Pantry. It’s not even that bad. It’s just that some breakables and open bags of chips need to be moved to a shelf higher than the toddler can reach. Anyone an expert in this? I think it might take an outside perspective.

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2B. Not use the Dining Room as Temporary/Permanent Storage. The dining room is rarely used for dining so it seems like a perfect place to drop my things when I don’t have time to put them away. Then about two months later Jeff will find a place to put them for me. (True story)

3. Clean More. I keep asking for a cleaning lady but no such luck. And despite the fact that I’ve been following the Clean Mama blog for the last year, it has had little impact on my life. Apparently you have to actually do the cleaning tasks, not just read the blog and download the free cleaning calendar.

4. Read the Bible. This could always be on my list. When can you ever read it enough? In all seriousness, I’ve read through the whole Bible several times and I still learn new things each time I read it. It is the only thing that truly gives me peace, joy, and hope. It is life-giving and I want it to be part of my every day.

5. Blog Again. It’s not like I ever intentionally stopped. It was easy to write while I was on bed rest but having a mobile, attention-seeking, adorable little boy (who sneaks into the pantry every time I turn my back) has given me plenty of funny material for a blog, but little time to write it. Poor excuse, I know. But my desire is to write again so we’ll see how that goes.

What’s on your list?
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing…” Isaiah 43:18-19

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Advice For The Bride-To-Be

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Today we honored my sister-in-law at a bridal shower with family and friends as she prepares for her wedding in one month! The following is a speech I gave of my advice to her, and to any soon-to-be (or already) married woman.

We spend so much time focusing on the wedding day, that now we would like to take a few moments to help you prepare for a lifetime of marriage. Since I have been married for 5 years, I’m pretty much an expert and qualified to speak next.

“How to survive being married to a Chun” Oh wait, that’s my speech for Tom! Just kidding.

Stephanie I do have three pieces of advice for you as you begin your married life with Tom. In the Bible in Matthew 19 Jesus says “At the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” (Matt 19:4-6)

1. My first piece of advice is do everything together. There are enough things in your daily life that will pull you away from each other. You will spend at least 8 hours at work away from each other every day. Make a conscious effort to spend your time with Tom. This may mean taking an interest in things he likes, such as video games and cars. But eventually you will see him take an interest in things you like to do as well.

When Jeff and I were first married, we had already dated on and off for 8 years, so I thought I knew all there was to know about him. One day he started to tell me about mixed martial arts where you combine boxing and martial arts moves. He said there was a reality tv show called The Ultimate Fighter where guys compete to get a contract to fight professionally. As uninterested in this as I was, I decided I’d watch it with him anyway. We were just married and I was trying to spend time with him. Well it didn’t take long before the reality show aspect sucked me in. Soon I found myself understanding the sport, picking my favorite fighters, and telling Jeff when the next fight was that we needed to watch. His interest became my interest.

Doing things together for us has also meant traveling to incredible places. I would be content to sit on a beach in Florida but because Jeff wanted to, we’ve climbed Africa’s tallest mountain, kayaked in Thailand, and crawled through caves in Kentucky. I’m still requesting a vacation that does not require me training for, but I’m hoping that will come soon.

Jeff has also taken an interest in things I like. He is more of a loner, but I’d rather spend time with people. He once told me I was only allowed to have one party per year. Haha! I said “ok” and just stopped calling them “parties” and started saying we were having some friends over. Just last month for Jack’s first birthday party Jeff said, “Well if we’re going to have a party, it should be the best party ever!” He’s coming around.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Phil 4:6-7)

2. My second point is Pray don’t Nag. Wives seem to have a reputation for nagging their husbands: do this, don’t do that, change your attitude, change your clothes, etc. While it’s fine to kindly remind Tom to take the garbage out, when you want to see real lasting change in his life, it is crucial to pray. It may be hard to believe, but there will be times you are frustrated and angry with Tom. Instead of complaining or arguing or trying to convince him of your way, pray. By praying you are acknowledging that God is in control. He is the One who has the power to change Tom’s heart. But God also has the power to change your heart.

As you pray and ask God to change Tom, you may find you are the one changing. You will become more patient, kind, and forgiving of Tom as you realize that God has been patient, kind, and forgiving of you, just like He is with all of us.

Praying for Tom when you are upset is a great way to avoid some arguments. But it is also a great gift you can give him to pray for Tom everyday – pray about his work, his friends, his attitude, his faith, his marriage. This book, The Power of a Praying Wife is a great tool in giving you Bible verses and example prayers on a variety of topics to pray for Tom.

“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Matt 19:6)

3. In the world today you hear a lot about divorce. Billboards advertise divorce lawyers, TV & movies show divorced families like it’s no big deal, and the divorce rate is around 50%. But in your family and in Tom’s family marriage is honored. You and Tom are blessed with grandparents, aunts & uncles, siblings, and parents who are leaving a legacy of marriage. I made this frame with their names to remind you that you are not alone.

20130721-212955.jpgWhen hard times come, may this serve as a testimony of the commitment you have witnessed in your families. There will be challenges in your life together. Arguments you don’t know how to resolve, conflict you think won’t go away, disagreements you want to win. There may be sorrow. There may be hardships. But there will be joy. May this frame serve to remind you that you “are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders [every thought that says you might be better with someone else – set that aside] and the sin that so easily entangles. And run with perseverance this race [of marriage] marked out for you, fixing your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of your faith.” (Hebrews 12:1-2) And may you continue to pass on the legacy of marriage to future generations.

Finally, Stephanie, may you remember that “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (1 Cor. 13:4-8)

When Mother’s Day Isn’t Happy

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IMG_1761I was at the grocery store on Friday shopping with Jack and already the cashier was saying “Happy Mother’s Day.” While I appreciated their comments, I wondered if I should say it back to her. She didn’t have any children with her, obviously, so how could I know if she’s a mom.  Really the awkwardness of it just reminded me of how this special day can be challenging for so many. While it is great to set aside a day to celebrate the wonderful mothers in our lives, maybe you can take a minute to remember and pray for those who’s day is sad.

  • Children whose mothers have recently died
  • Mothers who have lost children through miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infant loss
  • Women who long to be mothers but struggle with infertility, or aren’t married, or don’t have the opportunity to become a mom
  • Women who are like mothers – physically, spiritually, emotionally mothering others

I read a letter online recently also bringing attention to churches about recognizing moms in church. Its a great letter so you should check it out.

Last year while I was pregnant with Jack I wrote about being a “Mom.” I know it resonated with a few friends so I thought instead of rewriting something really similar I would just repost it below.

May 11, 2012 – Mother’s Day for a “Mom”

IMG_1750Mothers Day is challenging for me. People see me pregnant now and say “Maybe this will be your first Mothers Day!” as if delivering the baby before then will ensure that I am a mom this Mothers Day. I don’t understand why we say life begins at conception and consider the thing inside me to be a baby, but don’t consider pregnant women mothers.

Furthermore, last year was my first Mothers Day. It was about two months after I gave birth to Caleb and proceeded to lay him in the grave. Just because my two children aren’t in my arms doesn’t mean I’m not a mom, or any less of a mom than someone else.

But what are you supposed to say to me: “Happy Mothers Day?” It’s kind of happy. I’m certainly excited about this new little one and getting to meet him face to face soon. I’m happy that I had Caleb, even though it was a short time. I’m happy to celebrate my wonderful mom and mother-in-law, my grandmother-in-law, my sisters who are moms, and a host of other great mom examples.

But for me Mothers Day is lonely. It’s a reminder that Caleb isn’t here. He can’t ever be replaced with another child. I imagine part of me will always feel like this on Mothers Day.Someone is missing. When people acknowledge me on Mothers Day, it’s a reminder of this. Yet when people don’t acknowledge me, it makes me feel like Caleb has been forgotten.

I feel like I’m a “mom,” always having to qualify my role… “Is this your first child?” Kind of…. When they ask all the moms to stand up at church, do I stand? What questions will I have to answer then? If I don’t stand, is it like I’m ignoring Caleb?

I don’t write this so that you’ll acknowledge me in some way on Mothers Day. It’s really not about me. It’s really about a Mom who doesn’t want her children to be overlooked. I’m sure there are other “moms” in your life: women who have struggled with infertility, women who have miscarried, women who never had the opportunity to give birth to their own children. Maybe you’ll just take a minute to think about what makes someone a Mom. As you celebrate this year, be sensitive to the “moms” whose children aren’t in their arms but are forever in their hearts.

For the Moms, the “moms,” and all others, may this Mother’s Day be a day of celebrating the wonderful mothers in your life, but more importantly celebrating the God who loves us and is our example of how to love others.

“Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your graciousness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving; let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:4-7

This White Dude Is Rich!

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I came across this book thanks to Google or a blog or something that linked to it. The title was intriguing – 7, An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess – so I downloaded the introduction for free to check it out.

Upon hearing a 10 year hurricane evacuee declare that “this white dude is rich!” (referring to her husband), author Jen Hatmaker began a seven month fast to rid her of consumerism and make room for God’s kingdom to break through in her life.

I had this feeling that if I read this book I would be convicted of my own consumerism, living in an excess, an abundance that most of the world doesn’t know. So I didn’t buy the book. I wasn’t ready to change. I did put a hold on it at the library and guess what, today it became available.

Speaking of her church’s Nixon-era carpet, Hatmaker says “we won’t buy carpet at the expense of orphans. $10,000 for a new parking lot could find a hundred thousand tree seedlings to reforest Africa’s decimated land and stimulate their local economy. It’s kind of a no-brainer.”

I haven’t even finished reading the introduction yet, but I do want change. I want God to show me how to simplify my life so that I can amplify Him. Want to join me? Let me know if you want to read 7 along with me and chat about how our lives should look.

“Even now,” declares the Lord, “return to Me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning. Rend your hearts and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.” (Joel 2:12-13)

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Not What I Would Have Planned

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Last weekend we had plans to go to Lake Geneva for a race Jeff was running (as I wrote about yesterday). We were going to leave at noon on Friday and spend the afternoon introducing Jack to the swimming pool. However, no one seems to have created an app to sync my iPhone calendar with our home paper calendar, and thus we had a conflict.

My sister-in-law had given me tickets at Christmas to a concert Friday night. So Jeff and I decided we would go to the concert, come home, wake Jack up, and drive up to Lake Geneva late Friday night. We assumed Jack would just go back to sleep in the car. Instead, Jeff slept in the car and Jack talked to me while I drove.

It ended up working out though because the wake for my friend Heidi who died earlier in the week was Friday afternoon. Jeff had an appointment to get his car worked on, so I took Jack and met my mom and sister at the funeral home. We knew there would be quite a crowd so we got there almost when it began.

I’ve never seen anything quite like it… hundreds of people waiting in a line that weaved through the large funeral home, looking at pictures of Heidi with her family and friends as some of her favorite Fernando Ortega songs played. The vast crowd was surely a testimony to her life: friendly, caring, compassionate, joyful.

If it was any other concert, I would have skipped it. But it was Chris Tomlin. I have all of his albums and have never seen him in concert. He’s one of the best contemporary Christian song writers and worship leaders. So I rushed home after the wake and Jeff and I rushed to make it to the concert on time.

Going from a wake to a concert isn’t what I would have planned. But this wasn’t just a concert, it was truly focused on Jesus, worshipping him with thousands of people around. As the first song played, I knew I was right where I was supposed to be. Kari Jobe singing We Are – “Make the most of the time we have left, We are the light of the world… We gotta let the light shine”