Seeing and Believing

20120301-134607.jpg
Perception can be a funny thing. Since I’m in bed all day, I rarely know what the weather is like. I see through my windows that the sun is shining, the trees are barely moving, “It must be a nice, warm spring day,” I think. Until a visitor shows up… wearing a down jacket and scarf, and I realize it’s actually quite cold. Or like yesterday when it was cloudy and the trees were moving back and forth, so I thought it must be cold and windy. Then my dad comes over and says its 60 degrees out! Good thing I’m not a meteorologist.

Sometimes what we see with our eyes can be deceiving, yet other times it can verify the truth. When Jesus rose from the grave and appeared to the disciples, Thomas wasn’t there. The disciples told Thomas “Jesus is alive!” but Thomas said, “Unless I see in His hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into His side, I will never believe” (John 20:25).

Eight days later Jesus came back to the disciples and this time Thomas was there. Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them. Then He said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and see My hands; and put out your hand, and place it in My side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.”

Busted! Jesus knew what Thomas had said and He came back to let Thomas see Him for himself. Have you ever been in a situation like that? Caught red-handed, an awkward moment, you didn’t think the person you were gossiping about would ever know you said that…

But Jesus didn’t come to Thomas to ridicule him for not believing, or to rub it in Thomas’s face that He really was alive. Instead Jesus gave Thomas the opportunity to believe.

Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

Thomas gets a bad reputation for doubting. But here he sees Jesus and believes. Look back at verse 25 – Thomas says he won’t believe unless he puts his fingers into Jesus’s nail marks. But once he sees Jesus he believes. No extra proof necessary.

If you are looking for Jesus to show up in your life, believe He will. If you are wondering if He really exists, seek Him with all your heart and you will find Him. If you are waiting on a miracle, ask Him and believe He will do it. But know that He might show up in a different way than you expect. You may have to walk through some storms before you get to your miracle. But blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.

Bible story is found in John 20:25-29

Do You See Him?

Two men were walking to the next town and a third joined them. The third man was Jesus, but the two didn’t recognize Him. Without realizing it was Jesus, the two talked all about Jesus – the miracles He performed, the signs and wonders, and His death. They were sad because they thought Jesus was the promised Messiah, but they thought He was dead. Now it had been three days and His body was missing from the tomb.

They continued walking, not knowing Jesus their resurrected Messiah was next to them. They stopped for the evening and ate together. “And their eyes were opened, and they recognized him. And He vanished from their sight. They said to each other, ‘Did not our hearts burn within us while He talked to us on the road, while He opened to us the Scriptures?'” (Luke 24:31-32)

It’s easy to see this clearly looking back, isn’t it? In the moment, you’re upset, sad, emotional, and your eyes are blinded to seeing Jesus is with you. But when you come out of that trial, you can look back on your life and see how God was directing everything for your good.

Don’t wait for the end to come in order to see God’s faithfulness. Stop right now and take a moment to see how God is with you, caring for you, loving you, helping you get rid of sin in your life, helping you become a better person. Sometimes it’s painful. Sometimes it requires difficult decisions. But in the end it is worth it. And in the meantime, know Jesus is near.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

“The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:17-18)

20120221-141439.jpg

This is the day

“This is they day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24

Most of the time when we hear this verse it’s a happy, cheerful time. You say it with excitement as you think of the great things God has done. But what if it’s the worst day of your life?

On a day of tragedy, death of a loved one, diagnosis from a doctor that you weren’t expecting, natural disasters … the verse is still true. Do you rejoice in those days? The Lord still made them and we still have reason to be glad.

It’s not easy to rejoice and be glad on the worst day of our lives. But it’s a choice. Often when we choose to do something our feelings follow. Rejoicing may not make your worst day turn into a happy cheerful time, but it will bring you peace and a reassurance that no matter what is happening in your life God is still in control and worthy of our praise.

In May I started working on a song that would express this. A song that as you sing it would help you choose to praise even in challenging times. I haven’t completed verses but here’s the chorus:

This is the day You have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
This is the day You have made
I will rejoice, I will rejoice
For You’ve shown me love
You’ve shown me grace
You’ve guided me in Your ways
I will rejoice, this is Your day

20120213-221343.jpg

Sometimes I Feel Like

Sometimes I feel like an Israelite.

Reading about the Israelites in Exodus makes me frustrated. It is so easy to see how time and again God does something miraculous for them but moments later they turn away from Him. He parts the Red Sea to bring about their deliverance from slavery, they worship Him, then they complain they don’t have food. God miraculously gives them food from heaven and they complain they don’t have meat. God gives them meat and they complain about something else. They even went so far as to build an idol to worship, as if they had forgotten all these amazing things God did as He rescued them from slavery.

It’s always easier to see someone else’s sin than our own. Too often I’m just like the Israelites. I praise God for what He’s done and two days later I’m overcome with doubt and fear.

Something got into me today and I was really struggling tonight (as you can tell by the fact I’m blogging at midnight). I had a contraction, which I haven’t had in days, and all of a sudden I’m extremely aware of every little feeling in my body. Finally laying in bed tonight I prayed, “Lord I just need to hear from You. I know my feelings can lie and my worries make it hard to see the truth. I just want to hear You tell me everything is ok.”

But instead of answering me directly, God reminded me of the miracles He has already done in this pregnancy, like last Friday at the doctor, and He reminded me of the Israelites. I don’t want to praise God and then forget what He’s done. I want to praise Him all the time, even when I’m struggling. I want to always remember the amazing work He’s done and live each day expecting His work to continue.

Lord I’m sorry for doubting and letting fear consume me. Thank You for being faithful even when I’m not. Thank You for reminding me that You who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion. Lord again I surrender this precious baby into Your loving, capable hands. I lay down my fear and worry and choose instead to trust You. Thank You for alway loving me and letting nothing separate me from Your love. In Jesus’ Name, amen.

20120209-002248.jpg

Kilimanjaro or Bed Rest?

Climbing Kilimanjaro or bed rest, which one is harder, a friend asked me recently. Both take mental strength, but I didn’t have to run and lift weights for nine months to prepare for bed rest. I posted previously about how our vacations have prepared me for bed rest, but it’s always fun to talk about Kilimanjaro so lets dig in.

20120207-192725.jpg
5.5 days to the summit (19,341 feet) and 1.5 days to get back down. Below 10,000 feet is a lush rainforest but beyond that Kilimanjaro has almost no vegetation. On day 1 we passed 10,000 feet, making us above the rainforest and above the cloud line. The ground had changed from green to dusty dry rocks. It reminds me of a story Jesus tells in Matthew 13:

When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what has been sown in his heart. This is what was sown along the path. As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy, yet he has no root in himself, but endures for a while, and when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately he falls away. As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and it proves unfruitful. As for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it. He indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.

When people hear God’s Word, there are a few responses:
1. Hears it, receives it with joy, but has no root, and falls away when there are hardships
2. Hears it, but is too concerned about worldly things, and therefore bears no fruit for God
3. Hears the word, understands it, and is fruitful

When we were walking through the rainforest of Kilimanjaro it was hard, it was steep, but there was shade from the trees. There were animals to see. We were surrounded by beautiful green trees. Walking on the dusty rocks was difficult. It was dirty and hot and hard to balance on some of the boulders. There was no vegetation and no animals. The only scenery was the summit, which always seemed miles and miles away.

Looking at the list, I want to be number three. I want to hear and understand God’s word. I want to put into practice what I learn in the Bible. What do you want to be?

20120207-192919.jpg

Underdogs

I’m watching the Super Bowl, like the rest of the country. I’m not sure who I’m cheering for yet. I have a friend who loves the Giants, but my brother-in-law is a die-hard Patriots fan. I prefer rooting for the underdog. There’s just something about the guy-who-was-supposed-to-lose winning that I love. Maybe it’s because the Bible is full of victorious underdogs.

David vs. Goliath
David, a shepherd boy, youngest of his family, the one not in the army. Yet David is unwilling to let this giant make fun of God’s people. David chooses to trust God, not fear Goliath, and God gives David the victory.

Daniel vs. King Nebuchadnezzar
Daniel was a man of God who worked for the king. But when the king commanded everyone to worship an image of him, Daniel refused. Facing certain death, Daniel still chose faith, and God saved him.

Moses
Born when Hebrew baby boys were being killed, Moses was put in a basket on the river and was saved and raised as a son in the house of the Egyptian Pharoah. Moses grew up, murdered an Egyptian, fled for his life, then was called by God to lead His people. But Moses said he wasn’t a good enough speaker. God brought Moses’ brother in to help, but God still used Moses in big ways, despite his murderous and doubting past.

Speaking of people with questionable pasts, a friend reminded me of Hebrews 11, known as the hall of faith, yet lists many people you wouldn’t think would be recognized:
Abraham slept with Sarah’s servant because he wasn’t man enough to say no to her and that he was trusting God for an heir through Sarah. Sarah is mentioned in the hall of faith and she tried to manipulate to bring about God’s promise and then laughed when she was told she would get pregnant in her old age. Rahab was a prostitute and yet is listed for her faith. The list goes on.

All of this encourages me and reminds me that no one is perfect, we’re all “underdogs.” But God delights in using imperfect, sinful, weak people to prove that any victory we have is only because of His grace and strength, His work in us.

As for the Super Bowl, I’ll be rooting for the underdog… as soon as I figure out who that is.

20120205-214721.jpg

Surrender

Most of the time when I write these blogs I am in a good place mentally and spiritually.  I’ve been encouraged by your comments and just the fact that you’re reading my blog, but I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.  I’m certainly not perfect, my faith isn’t perfect, and I struggle just like everyone else.

  • I thought everything was going to be perfect with this pregnancy, until I needed a cerclage.
  • I have no baby things in the house, but I’m nervous to register for stuff.
  • I question every little thing I feel – baby kicking, stomach gurgling – and wonder if everything is ok.

But I’ve had to take all my worries, doubt, and love for this baby, and hold them in open hands, letting God take it from me.  He wants to bear our burdens. They’re too heavy for us.  I’ve had to surrender this baby, knowing God loves him more than I do, and trust him to God’s faithful care.

God has been faithful. He has given me peace. He takes my worry and gives me wisdom. He takes my doubt and reminds me to trust and pray. 

Maybe you wonder why God gives us good news and hasn’t given it to you.  I don’t know.  We don’t often know the reasons behind our circumstances.  But I promise you, you will never regret surrendering to the Lord. 

Lay down your worries and doubts, your past, your sins, your heartache.  Let God carry your load.

“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

What’s On Your Mind?

20120201-105151.jpg
I’ve realized that Jeff has helped prepare me for bed rest throughout our marriage. At this point it really seems like a mental game: how to stay sane, how to not worry, how to keep my mind on good things. Several of our vacations have required similar mental perseverance.

Mammoth Cave is the largest cave system in the world and it’s located in Kentucky. We planned a trip to Mammoth to celebrate our first anniversary. Parts of the cave are huge! Large enough that they used to have church down there and weddings for hundreds of guests. Most tours are casual walk through parts of the cave where you learn the history. But one tour really caught Jeff’s eye:

Wild Cave Tour
Difficulty: Strenuous
Beautiful, yet physically demanding
6 hours, only 14 participants

We put on our hiking boots, old clothes to throw away after crawling through dirt, and we were on our way. At the introduction the guide said if you aren’t comfortable crawling through the small lid of a garbage can, this isn’t for you. Who is comfortable crawling through that, I wondered. But at least I was the smallest person on the trip. If all of these men fit through then I’ll fit too.

I wouldn’t consider myself claustrophobic, but when you are laying on your stomach, can only see the boots of the person in front of you, have rock walls touching all your sides and you’re hundreds of feet under ground, you start to reconsider claustrophobia. The guide yells back our next move, “Next we’ll be going through Hell Hole. It’s about 40 yards of crawling on your stomach over rough jagged rocks.” Did I voluntarily sign up for this?

“Isn’t this cool?!” Jeff exclaims, grinning from ear to ear. “It’s great,” I respond straight faced. If you say it enough maybe it’ll start to be true, right? Many times I had breakdowns in my head and gave myself pep talks, especially when I had to crawl past a large spider and the space didn’t look big enough for both of us.

Six hours later we were walking upright towards the finish line. Though the end was in sight, I was regretting it. “Lord, I didn’t want to just make it through and survive this. I wanted to enjoy Your creation and treasure this time since most people never see these parts of the cave,” I silently prayed. I heard God say to me, “Just like there is so much more to discover about this cave, you have so much more to discover about Me.”

God wasn’t saying I didn’t know Him, but that there is always more to learn and grow. Almost every part of me wants this time of bed rest to fly by. But I know God is telling me to surrender, yield to Him, and treasure this time of waiting.

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock.” Isaiah 26:3-4

20120201-105232.jpg

Interruptions

Everyone makes plans for their life. Graduate college, get a high paying job using your degree, marry the perfect guy, have 2.5 children and a dog, and live happily ever after. But your plans get interrupted. You get laid off from work, you thought you’d be married by now and there aren’t even any options on the horizon, the pregnancy test shows up negative again, your spouse leaves you, you have a major health problem, the list goes on. The unexpected interrupts our well-planned lives.

Last year I was very excited to be pregnant with Caleb. All was going according to my plan. Then in one day our lives were flipped upside down. Instead of being the happy new parents bringing home their first baby, we were planning his funeral and buying a cemetery plot. I had become part of the unofficial “moms who’ve lost babies” club – the club you don’t know exists until you’re in it.

“God must have a purpose in this,” I reasoned. In the meantime I knew there was a lot at work I could accomplish that I didn’t think I had time for. But two months later the company needed to reorganize, replacing staff with volunteers. I found myself at home with no baby to take care of and no job to throw myself into. Life interrupted again.

I’m very thankful that I have the luxury of being home and not needing to work, but I felt like I was going through an identity crisis. I began volunteering for Young Life doing simple office wok. I operate best when I have a routine, and I knew I would need a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

Eventually we started trying to get pregnant again. We were more fortunate than many people, but the couple months it took felt like forever… and my 30th birthday was coming up. Couldn’t just one of my plans work out?

I can look back on these interruptions and see God’s hand in all of it. It’s good I don’t have a job so that I can really devote myself to bed rest. I miss Caleb with all my heart, but if he had survived, we wouldn’t have this baby, I think God really has great plans for this child. Because of Caleb my faith is stronger, I’m closer to my husband and family, I’ve made new friends who went through similar situations, I’ve seen friends, neighbors, and churches love and care for us in amazing ways. Right now there are hundreds of you praying for us, because of what we’ve been through. I’m amazed at how God has worked all things together for our good (Romans 8:28).

In every interruption, the Lord was there. These things may have surprised me, but they didn’t surprise Him. “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

20120130-104944.jpg

Unsinged By The Fire

In the third chapter of Daniel, three men refuse to follow the King’s orders because it contradicts their faith in the Lord. The King has them bound and thrown into the fire. The three men were unafraid. They knew God was able to save them if He so chose. The men should have been burned up immediately, but instead The King says “Didn’t we throw three men in? I see four men, unbound, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods.”

The King called the men out. Their hair wasn’t singed, their clothes weren’t burned, they didn’t even smell like fire. God was with them and the King chose to worship the God who saves.

What a comfort to know God is with us in the fires of life. He loosens the fears that bind us and protects us from the flames. Thank You Lord for being the God who saves!